Once a teacher...

I made a terrible mistake. Not one that I can't ever recover from, but a mistake nonetheless.  That I know now.  A choice that took me from a place of mastery of my craft to a complete novice.  From a place of routine, order, and structure to an environ of noncompliance, disruptions, and perpetual conflict. Four years ago, near the end of summer, I left my high school teaching position to become an administrator. 

At the time, I was not actively seeking an administrative job.  While I did have my Masters  and my admin licensure, I had not applied for any positions. Perhaps it was because I had applied and not been accepted to my district's academy for aspiring administrators three years running.   Carrying around the weight of resentment that my score on a Gallup survey carried greater weight than my body of work as a teacher and coach, a corporate manager, and a U.S. Army Officer. I was content teaching my five AP classes and starting my doctorate, or so I thought. 

A former coworker at a neighboring school called me to let me know that a recent admin hire had resigned unexpectedly. Several former coworkers had recently migrated to this school, so there were a number of friendly faces in critical positions.  If I was ever going to make a move, this had to be it.  A summertime move with no sappy farewell on the last day of school and a fresh start at a school on the move.  Teachers I knew and trusted vouching and advocating for me to be on their school's leadership team.  This had to be the one. 

Within two weeks of the start of school, our head basketball coach was arrested for sexual abuse of a minor, forcing a coaching search a few weeks prior to the start of practice. At the end of the first quarter, our principal, who had hired me 12 weeks earlier, resigned amid allegations of sexual misconduct.  In fact, the most time my principal and I ever spent together was cleaning out that coach's office.  A former, now retired AP at the school was named interim principal for four long tumultuous months.  Luckily, the best AP at my former school was named permanent principal in February.  That was my first year as an administrator.  Had my former AP not been hired, I most certainly have informed our superintendent that I had made a mistake and returned to the classroom. 

Over three years have since passed and not a day goes by that the classroom doesn't call to me.  Don't get me wrong, the admin life certainly has its perks and we have, in my humble opinion, made great strides at my school.  Getting paid a salary commensurate with professionals in other disciplines has been rewarding for my family.   Not having to be "on" and perform five shows a day is liberating.  I no longer live and die by the bell.  Just a few years in an admin position has opened doors to future opportunities that wouldn't have opened otherwise.  And, going to the bathroom whenever I want is truly life-changing.  

But for me, there is something to be said for being able to close that classroom door and shut out the rest of the world.  I'm often asked, whether while doing classroom observations, leading professional development, or speaking at conferences, if I miss teaching and the classroom.  

Every day.